I used to care A LOT about what other people thought of me.

After a conversation, I would sometimes obsess over whether or not I said “the right” thing.

I would sometimes overthink a post on social media and worry about if I looked “good enough” or if people might judge me.

I used to live with so much anxiety around whether or not people liked me. It was really exhausting.

I’m SO grateful to have stopped caring so much! It hasn’t happened overnight and I can’t say my fears are completely gone.. but I’ve made so much progress and it feels amazing.

As a mindset coach, I do a lot of work around helping women release self-judgment and step into self-acceptance. I truly believe that once we step into true self acceptance, we gain the confidence to stop caring what others think of us, to let go of doubts and worries around being “good enough”, and ultimately, we can start to take action towards our visions for a beautifully aligned life.

I’ve noticed so many women in my audience who struggle with caring what others think of them. They worry about rejection, judgement, and abandonment. It holds them back from being their true, authentic self and going after their dreams.

I’m on a mission to empower women to rise up into their most authentic, confident, highest selves. That’s why I wanted to share a few tips that you might find helpful!

Tip #1: Remember that you’re not in control of other people

One time I heard a quote that really stuck with me. It said, “It’s none of my business what people think of me.” And it’s so true! You are not in control of the reactions of other people. You are only in control of YOU, your thoughts, your energy, and how you make meaning out of situations. No matter what you do, you can’t control how other people might react to you.

Once I realized this, it became a lot easier to separate myself from the opinions or judgements from other people. I pay attention to my thoughts and my energy, but beyond that- I keep in mind that’s it’s simply just not my business.

Tip #2: Remember that judgment is a reflection of a person’s inner world

Other people’s negative behavior and reactions are most often a reflection of what’s going on internally for them. If a person judges you, it says WAY more about them than it does about you. Judgement typically comes from insecurities. For example, if a person is insecure about the way they look, they are more likely to judge others for the way they look.

Keeping this in mind has been really powerful for me because I know that a person can only recognize in others what they recognize in themselves.

Tip #3: Ask yourself, ‘whose opinion really matters?’

I had a coaching client once say something to me along the lines of, “I put up a wall. I don’t let others see the real me because I’m afraid they won’t like me. I’m afraid of people giving mean or rude opinions about the way I’m living my life.” I then asked her, “Well whose opinion really matters to you?”

When everyone’s opinion really matters, then you’re bound to get hurt.

Something that’s been really helpful to me has been only taking to heart opinions from people who are where I want to be. For example, if I want to write a book, I’m not going to start listening to opinions from people who have never written a book before. I’m only going to listen to opinions of those who are authors!

If someone isn’t living the type of life you want, then take their opinions with a grain of salt!

Tip #4: Remember that we have one life

Taking the big picture perspective always feels really enlightening to me. We literally have one life. We are spinning on a rock in infinite space. Our time in this Earth isn’t always guaranteed. If there are things you want to do with your life, then fuck, it’s time to do them!

You can’t let fears of judgement or worries about what other people think of you rule your life. Otherwise, you’ll never live the life you truly want or become the woman you’re truly meant to be.

Tip #5: Remember that people probably aren’t paying attention

It can be easy to believe that everyone around you is watching you and judging you. I went to a hot yoga class for the first time recently and noticed my inner-critic come up and start to say things to me like, “Other people are way better than you” and “People can tell your new at this.”

Those inner-judgment thoughts are simply just not true. Everyone’s got their own life and their own problems. While it can seem like everyone’s watching you and judging you, they aren’t. And if they are, that just reflects what’s going on for them internally.

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